What is Gratitude Doing to You?

Gratitude is a word we hear a lot at Clairbourn School—especially at the start of May when students celebrated Teacher Appreciation Week and submitted thank you notes, drawings, and videos to honor the work of their teachers. After such a heartfelt and bountiful outpouring of thanks, it can be easy to feel satisfied about our community’s understanding and practice of gratitude. So why is it important to unpack it and take a deeper look?  Because this single word represents a much bigger concept than sincere thank-yous and heartfelt feelings.

Gratitude is a power that we can exert over our immediate experience to bring about changes for the better. It is scientifically proven to relieve our minds and bodies from the negative effects of dissatisfaction, stress, disappointment, delay, and devastation—struggles especially associated with the current COVID-19 losses, economic fallout, and restrictions.

Grateful Clairbourn students made special thank-you cards to honor and appreciate their hard working teachers during Teacher Appreciation Week in May.

The Golden Rule, a piece of ancient wisdom dating back to 2040 B.C., instructs us to, “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:31 [New International Version]). Most of us take this as a reminder to be kind in order to avoid any negative consequences to our actions. But the Golden Rule is also teaching us that we are literally doing something to ourselves every time we act.  This applies to gratitude, because when we express it towards others, the benefits are never one-sided.

As it turns out, people who cultivate a gratitude practice are actually doing amazing things for their own personal health and well-being.  According to Wikipedia, “The systematic study of gratitude within psychology only began around the year 2000,” and since then researchers have learned a lot about its measurable effects. The biggest findings center around the beneficial mental and physical transformations on those who practice gratitude.

These Clairbourn students were able to use Teacher Appreciation Week as an opportunity to see the bigger picture of how their teachers and school are adding value to their lives.

Dr. Robert Emmons, Professor of Psychology, at U.C. Davis is the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude and he sees it as a vital “part of our psychological immune system.” His book, “The Little Book of Gratitude,” reports proven benefits that include:

-23% lower levels of stress hormones
-25% reduction of dietary fat intake
-10% improvement in quality of sleep for chronic pain sufferers
-19% reduction in depression levels

This middle school student put a lot of creative thought, time, and effort into creating a special thank-you message for all of her Clairbourn teachers to show the depth of her gratitude.

Dr. Emmons’ data also shows measurable improvements in emotional health, meaningful relationships, resilience levels, recovery from loss and trauma, ability to take action, and an increase of overall life satisfaction. Greater Good Magazine also shared a new and relevant study showing that gratitude can increase our cooperation instincts so needed in this time of global pandemic. The article Gratitude Can Calm Our Urge to Compete with Others,” by Jill Suttie, Psy.D.,  says “Research suggests that practicing gratitude helps people…to coordinate their actions toward a particular goal—something relevant to our current need to shelter in place. Not only will it help us be more cooperative, it’s good for our personal well-being, too—protecting our mental health and making us feel more positive and optimistic about the future.”

A common element among these images of Clairbourn students thanking their teachers is the glow of happiness on their faces showing that gratitude feels good!

So, what are some practical strategies for building a gratitude habit? Dr. Emmons recommends, “Take one daily hassle and try to view that through the lens of gratitude…see if you can extract one benefit from that bad thing.” He also says to make a point to do it now instead of in the future when some idealized goal is obtained.

Another expert Dr. Laurie Santos shared a key strategy in her recent Happiness Lab podcast episode, “PJ and Alex Love to Gripe.” That strategy is to replace gripes with gratitude.  Gripes are defined as an annoyance that you are unlikely to do anything about. Dr. Santos explains that even though griping can seem to be socially bonding, funny, and emotionally satisfying, these are poor rewards compared to the riches gained from spending that same time in gratitude.  

Many students expanded their appreciation to include the school librarian, the classroom teaching assistants. and all of the specialist teachers for art, music, P.E., world languages, and computer.

Dr. Santos is a firm believer in the need to “curate our emotional lives” to make sure we control our exposure to negative feelings. Since gripes fail to include beneficial problem-solving, in the end they hurt happiness levels and can increase stress. Gripes are a form of emotional pollution.

To back up those findings, she spoke with podcast guest Dr. Robert Emmons who shared relevant findings from his 10-week study where three groups of college students were surveyed once week. The groups were asked record their levels of well-being, overall mood, levels of gratitude, and their engagement with healthy habits like exercise. 

From drawing giant hugs to making photo props, students found wonderful ways to show gratitude and say “Thank You.”

The first group was also asked to list five mundane happenings. The second group was given the chance to complain about minor inconveniences. The third group was asked to record five things for which they were grateful.  In the end, the griping group fared worse emotionally and physically than the other two groups showing lower mood scores and less exercise than the control group.  By contrast, the gratitude group fared much better with fewer physical complaints, better overall moods, and higher levels of exercise.

Entering into an improved sense of well-being doesn’t have to be a big project. Dr. Santos recommends trying the “Gratitude Visit” strategy, which is proven to elevate one’s mood for up to one month.  The mental exercise begins with thinking of someone who you care about, are grateful for, and should thank. Write them a letter, explain their impact on your life, and then openly express that gratitude. If possible, meet them in person to share what you wrote.  It won’t be the awkward exchange you think it will be, and the resulting mutual happiness will exceed your expectations. Dr. Santos recommends using this thank-you letter template to get started.

Even during this time of social distancing, there are many ways a gratitude message can successfully reach the hearts of those who need to be thanked—be it photographs, videos, signs, phone calls, or mailing a letter.

Interesting research on the effects of gratitude continues to build, as does the number of book titles, gratitude practice lists, and popular gratitude exercises. But, the main takeaway should be that gratitude should never be mistaken for a feel-good palliative used to help cover up discontent, but it is actually an impressive remedial agent that results in a win-win happiness equation for all involved.  A line from an old English hymn, written by Vivian Burnett, sums up the power of gratitude perfectly, “Gratitude is riches, Complaint is poverty.”

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