If you are a fan of vintage American sitcoms, you may have seen the show Hogan’s Heroes which depicts a scrappy group of Allied prisoners in a German POW camp who managed to run countless special operation campaigns under the noses of their jailers. The main character was Colonel Hogan, an effective and clever leader with tremendous morale-boosting skills. His well-oiled machine of dedicated men knew how to cooperate, stay safe, and simultaneously do some good even when the odds were severely stacked against them.
Is it crazy to think that this show has something to teach us as we find ourselves confined in our homes during the COVID-19 pandemic? There is no doubt that, after considering the hardships faced by frontline healthcare professionals, essential workers, and small business owners, parents are the next group under tremendous strain trying to meet the intense demands of their households. This situation has dragged on with no clear end in sight, and the uncertainty is taking its toll on everyone’s emotions and ability to cope.
Clairbourn School students already know a lot about doing good deeds and alleviating distress in the community, and many of them are supporting healthcare workers and first-responders. But there is now a new frontline in the larger battle which is our very own doorsteps. These times call for a deeper level of service to precious family members who we often take for granted. The need of the hour is to make family care and balance a priority. So take a moment to imagine, how quickly the atmosphere in your home would change if you could take a tip from the military and assign a Morale Officer to take care of each person in the family?
If people—specifically children—were similar to computers, then giving them a quality education could be likened to a straightforward system of installing robust processing components, memory, and storage capacity as well as loading them with the right software, information input, and maybe even artificial intelligence necessary to turn them into problem-solving powerhouses.
But, when student are treated like computers to be “loaded,” and are shaped into impressive towers of narrowly-focused achievement, there is an associated risk of their tower crumbling to the ground when life gets difficult. In order to build a student that will withstand the challenges of life, there needs to be an ongoing, sincere investment in the qualities, habits, and connections that build true resilience and that will carry them through major challenges like the current COVID-19 pandemic.
Even though it would be simpler to function like computers, the truth is, we all have emotions that need to be managed. We all have a need for social connection that can’t be denied. We all need a sense of purpose that extends beyond our current talents. More importantly, we all need to cultivate a connection to a “Source” so we can find good ideas when we have exhausted our own efforts to handle a problem.
Now that Clairbourn School students are spending all of their time at home due to COVID-19 sheltering in place, many of our parents are feeling like full-time maids on top of their overwhelming normal responsibilities. Lack of help from family members in tidying-up can lead to a breakdown in morale among family members when some don’t do their fair share. But the good news is, learning to help is part of each student’s character education and it is part of building up their inner sense of purpose and value.
Dr. Robert Myers from the Child Development Institute published an insightful article last year called, “The Reason Children Should Do Chores is Because it’s Good for Them.” He wants parents to know that, “Giving children chores can make them feel wanted, teach important life skills, and help ease the workload for parents. Recent studies have found that giving children chores from an early age will help teach them work ethic, responsibility, self-reliance, and other vital life skills.”
Author Stephanie Simpson McLellan agrees in her article, “6 Ways to Get Kids to Help Out at Home,” and explains, “It just makes sense: If your kids contribute to the mess around the house, they should help tidy it up. Not so much for your sake, but for theirs. ‘One of the biggest problems children experience is that they don’t feel needed,’ says Maggie Reigh author of 9 Ways to Bring Out the Best in You & Your Child. To help kids mature into emotionally healthy adults, ‘they need to feel that their contribution matters,” she says. “Chores are a really tangible way to do that.’”
Don’t tie chores to earning an allowance because the reward should be praise for doing the right thing and contributing to the household.
Everyone knows, however, that asking kids to do chores can result in an endless pushback and nagging cycle that creates misery for everyone. The good news is, there is a way around this major pitfall. Start Slowly!
Janet Lehman’s article, “How to Get Kids to Do Chores Without an Argument” from the website EmpoweringParents.com advises, “Focus on one chore at a time: In order to change behaviors, don’t try to take on too many things at once. It will just overload both you and your child. Pick the most bothersome problem—let’s say it’s putting their dirty clothes in the hamper—and start there. This focus will help both you and your child set realistic expectations, follow-through, and ultimately succeed.”
She continues, “With younger kids, kids with ADHD or those who lack organizational skills, you may need to help them figure out how to approach a task. Some of their resistance to your nagging may have to do with their inability to know where and how to begin. Their room may be so messy and full of stuff that they really don’t know where to begin and simply give up. You can say, “Okay, let’s start with your dirty clothes, then your bed, then the floor…” and take it from there.”
Each family has a wonderful opportunity, while sheltering in place, to help students build the skills of domestic contribution and maintenance. They will be adding to their sense of family contribution and purpose and learn new skills in the process! Our rally cry can be, “Not One Sock Left Behind!”
Clairbourn School Provides Private School Education for Preschool, Kindergarten, Elementary School, and Middle School Grades | Serving Families in the Pasadena, California, Area and Surrounding Cities (K-12 Private Schools) Clairbourn is a 501(c)3 charitable organization. Click here to request information.
